


I Never Saw The Point

by vitrine



Category: Sala Samobójców | Suicide Room (2011)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Gen, M/M, One Shot, Suicide, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-05
Updated: 2012-06-05
Packaged: 2017-11-07 00:14:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/424766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vitrine/pseuds/vitrine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He would have told you that, and you wouldn't even have known he was lying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Never Saw The Point

**Author's Note:**

> Jan Komasa owns the film.

If you were to have asked Aleks when the last time he saw Dominik was, he would have told you it was when Dominik had shown up to school for the first time in days, looking like he was detached and better than everyone else. But Aleks could tell Dominik was a shard away from breaking.

He would have told you that, and you wouldn’t even have known he was lying.

The truth was, it was a week or so before the incident, and Aleks had gone to visit him. Dominik’s parents were out, and his nanny or whatever kept insisting that the kid was “resting.” The sweat gathered on her forehead and the wrinkles deep on her face told Aleks otherwise.

She let him in eventually, and he stood before Dominik’s bedroom door with a slight sense of dread. Why was he here again? Because of Karoline and the others, who dared him too. It was for fun, and mostly Aleks was curious. He was . . . slightly concern. Just a little, because none of it mattered. Dominik was the one taking things to heart too much. God.

The woman knocked on the door, and calmly said, “Dominik, you have a visitor – uh, what is your name again? Oh, Aleks. Your friend Aleks is here.” She looked at Aleks as if she was already prepping her words to tell him to leave, but then the door propped opened, and Dominik poked out. His hair was disheveled, and he looked whiter than ever. Aleks smiled to make a joke about it, but the somberness of everything made him stop.

The woman mumbled something, and then walked away to give them privacy. Aleks said, “Um, hey.”

Dominik’s eyes were the brightest thing on his body, the only color contrast to the black and white. His gaze made Aleks slightly uncomfortable.

Dominik started off with a quiet “Hi” before asking, “Why are you here?”

Aleks hadn’t missed a beat. “To say hi. See how you’re doing.”

“Just leave me alone.” Dominik’s hands tightened on the doorknob. His words drifted off with a certain tiredness Aleks hadn’t anticipated. He was ready for snarky, witty, slightly crazed Dominik. Not this pale thing. Aleks’s aloofness slipped away, and the uneasiness got to him.

He wasn’t prepared for this. He was losing his nerve and the reason why he came there was becoming blurred.

He wanted to ask Dominik why he stopped coming to school till he realized it was a stupid question. He knew why.

“It was a joke,” Aleks said. “That video and stuff. You shouldn’t take things so seriously.” He almost tripped backwards when Dominik suddenly lurched out, nearly falling onto Aleks. His face was in Aleks’s space, breathing heavily, eyes blue and red. Aleks heart stopped as his words became jumbled in his throat.

Dominik cursed at him, told him he was “a cunt, a bastard, a prick, a jerk,” and “I fucking hate you,’ and “I can’t believe I liked you.”

And then he stopped, face red, and chuckled, “Guess you’re gonna tell everyone that, huh? Did you record it with your phone so they can hear it?”

Aleks was half-listening. The deep beating of his heart and the blood rushing to his ears made it hard to concentrate, but he got it. He felt small and overheated in that place. He had a sudden urgency to get away, but he hadn’t wanted to be chase off by someone like Dominik.

“No,” he finally answered. He smiled anxiously, wanting to make the moment a joke. The word was thick on his tongue. The seriousness of everything had become too real.

Dominik stared and stared, eyes blank, mouth red and parted open. Aleks looked past his shoulder and into his room. He saw Dominik’s laptop on a desk, and he thought he could see something (someone?) moving on it.

He ignored it.

The next words that came out of Aleks were unplanned and awkward. They weren’t meant to be said, he thought. But he said them because it seemed like something he was supposed to say.

“I’m sorry.”

And he had known Dominik felt the lack of sincerity in his words when he replied, “It’s fine,” when it truly wasn’t.

They stood there in the aftermath of the tension, with Dominik looking off, far away from where Aleks was. Aleks tried to think of a reply, but nothing came to mind.

When Dominik kissed him only a minute later, it would have been appropriate for Aleks to shove him away and call him names. Tell him there were no drunk, horny girls daring him anymore. Tell him the tiny crush Aleks thought he had on him had vanished a while ago.

But he hadn’t. The kiss was light and hesitant, with Dominik moving his face slightly and Aleks being stoic and still. Aleks had thought the first time they kissed, that Dominik was amazing. He liked the way Dominik’s lips felt, all soft yet firm. He breathed heavily when Dominik pulled away, like nothing happened. He bit his hip, a crazed grin on his face as if he knew something Aleks didn’t. Aleks wondered if he just imagined it.

Dominik shrunk back into himself soon after, and began to close the door. “You should go. Don’t come back.”

And Aleks had. He left and that was the last time he ever saw Dominik Santorski.

He stood outside the apartment door for a full 5 minutes before he realized Dominik had said he liked him.

And he probably still did.

Aleks possibly couldn’t tell you the feeling he got just then. Only that it made him uncomfortable, the way it twisted and mangled his insides. He simply wanted to ignore it.

x x x x

When word got around school that Dominik had died, and the video of his death went viral, Aleks wondered for a moment if it was because of him. Then he questioned if he was taking too much credit for Dominik’s actions.

He wondered if he could have done something about it that day he visited him.

He wondered if, had Dominik known that for a split moment Aleks felt the same, if Aleks had went up to him and said, “I think I might like you,” would Aleks’s mother be yelling at him right now that the funeral started in 15 minutes and he still wasn’t dressed.

He wondered if it even mattered anymore.


End file.
